


The dark side of the moon

by Princess_Geek



Series: Unspoken Desires [20]
Category: Desire & Decorum (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Death, Death, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29629566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess_Geek/pseuds/Princess_Geek
Summary: The night shadows bring to light some truths about Ledford Park residents.
Series: Unspoken Desires [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807399
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	The dark side of the moon

**Author's Note:**

> ⚜Characters: Mathew Sinclaire (OC); Ernest Sinclaire; Vincent Foredale. All characters belong to Pixelberry. I only own my OC. No copyright infringement intended.
> 
> ⚜English is not my first language. Please, excuse me any typos /or grammatical errors.
> 
> ⚜Thank you, @missameliep for being my beta reader.

_The day is over._

_Another day without you, my dove._

_I close the heavy door behind me. I can finally take off the mask. Every day that passes it is more difficult to keep the fake smile. I pour myself a glass of amber liquid. It always starts with half a glass and ends with half a bottle … sometimes more. I am not proud of it, but it is the only way to keep going._

_Another glass runs down my throat._

_Tomorrow I have an important meeting in London. I should go to sleep, but I find hard to fall asleep. I just need to stay a little numb to forget the bed is cold, and you are not there to whisper sweet nothings in my ear._

_Mrs Lewis, our guardian angel, knocks on my door. Before she’s going to sleep, she asks if I need anything. She looks at the bottle and me and just says,_ ‘He still needs you. So much.’

_As soon as she closes the door, I pour myself another glass to pacify to the_ **_troubled waters_ ** _of my mind. If my good friend was here, he’d surely scold me for how much I already drank. I always handle the drink better than he did. Even now, as an old retired rake, I can still handle it very well. So, I think I can have another glass._

_I light a Cuban cigar. You never liked it when I smoked, and I didn’t like it very much too, but it reminds me of our last trip together. Encouraged by rum, you tried to smoke one, and you spent the rest of the night coughing. That memory makes me smile for a moment._

_The cigar left my throat dry. I will drink another glass to relieve this sensation._

_I know people are suspicious. I’ve heard one or two muffled rumours, but I couldn’t care less. They are not the ones that have to live without you… nor with the pain of never having met the one who was gone with you that day._

_Vincent tells me to think about our son. Even if I disappeared today, Ernest would inherit an empire. He has the head to rule it well and a good and honourable heart (sometimes too much honourable) to not get lost in life. If anything happens, I know he’ll be fine._

_I love him more than I love myself, you know that my dear. I would trade my life for his if I had to. However, there are times when I look at him, at those eyes that used to be yours, and for a brief moment, I hate him … I think that if it weren’t for him that day, you and she would be here with us. And then, I hate myself, I feel the most despicable of men for having that thought. I am not worthy of being called a father, nor am I worthy of being called a man. I guess that, deep down, our boy knows that sometimes that grisly thought crosses my mind. Knowing that I’m hurting him, pushing him further and further away from me, it’s even worse._

_Just one more glass to ward off those dark thoughts. I don’t know how long I was in the shadows. I hear our boy’s voice in the distance._

‘Don’t hang up, please, I think he’s opening his eyes,’ _Ernest dropped the phone on the table and ran to me._ ‘What are you doing to yourself, papa?’ _He hasn’t called me ‘papa’ in years._ ‘Thank God, he is coming to himself again.’ _Ernest is talking on the phone again_ ‘I’m sorry again for calling at this late hour…You’re in your way to here? There is no need…Okay…Thank you. We’re at the bureau…’

_I blacked out again for a while and when I came back, I heard two voices._

‘I thought he… that the worst had happened this time,’ _Ernest was sobbing, barely holding himself together,_ ‘I’m sorry again for bothering you with this… I shouldn’t have argued with him… it was such a silly thing…’

‘Son, this is not fault…’ _Vincent put his hand on his shoulder and pulled the boy over to hug him_ , ‘Parents and children have always fought and will always fight… Come on, let’s put him on bed’

_‘God bless this man’_ , I thought to myself, _‘Thank you for doing what I don’t have strength to do.’_


End file.
